Monday blues... Wala pa gana para magtrabaho... >_< At na-inspire ako magsulat dahil sa isang kwentuhan nung weekend hehehe.

Sa proseso ng ligawan or getting-to-know or kung ano man yung tawag dun sa stage na medyo obvious na may gusto si lalaki kay babae or vice versa, minsan ang tanong eh "may pag-asa ba ako?" Madali lang sagutin yan eh. Oo or hindi lang naman ang sagot, di ba?

Pero ang mas mahirap na tanong eh, pag binigyan mo ba ng pag-asa, binibigyan mo na rin ba sya ng karapatan? Karapatang magselos? Malaman ang bawat galaw mo, pati skedyul mo? Mag-astang boypren/gelpren?

Ito ata ang pinaka-misunderstood na question sa mundo, at kadalasan di alam ng mga tao na ang PAG-ASA ay hindi OO. Naalala ko dati may isang taong binigyan ko ng pag-asa, sabi ko "siguro pag-graduate pwede." Eto naman si mokong, aba nakikipag holding hands na saken! Tapos pag may ibang umaaligid, aba nagagalit ang lolo nyo! Dahil dun, nasakal ako. Anlabo no? Di pa nga kami, sakal na ako hahaha. Ayan tuloy, dahil sa pag-asa na yan, nasira ang aming pagkakaibigan.

Dalawang dahilan lang ang pwede kong mabigay kung bakit nagbibigay ng pag-asa ang isang tao. Una, dahil talaga namang may pag-asa, at like rin ni boy/girl si manliligaw (yihee!). Yung pangalawang dahilan, at masama ito tandaan nyo, ay ang pagbibigay ng pag-asa dahil ayaw makasakit.

Technically, pag binigyan mo ng pag-asa ang isang tao, ibig sabihin nito ay may possibility na maging kayo. Take note: POSSIBILITY lang. Pwede rin hindi mangyari (Murphy's law: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong). So technically, wala pa din karapatan ang boy or girl na binigyan mo ng pag-asa na mag-astang ka-relasyon mo. Kasi HINDI pa kayo eh. Pwede LANG maging kayo, pero hindi PA.

Ang kadalasang nangyayari kasi, pag binigyan na ng pag-asa, nagfi-feeling na. Feeling. Assuming. Kapalmuks in other words. Okay lang naman kung mag-feeling kung gusto rin ng nililigawan mo. Yung pag-asang dahil like ka rin nung isa, malamang magiging kayo nga. Pero kung yung pag-asa dahil ayaw ka lang masaktan, aba'y delikado ka dyan, tsong. Baka sampalin ka lang sa pagfi-feeling mo.

Ang bottom line lang ng aking mahabang pagsasalaysay ay: Kalimutan mo na ang pagbibigay ng pag-asa dahil ayaw mong makasakit. Saktan mo na lang habang maaga pa, kaysa baka magpakamatay pa yan dahil sa sobrang asa. Or mas mabuti pa siguro kung di na lang tinatanong yung "May pag-asa ba ako?"

On my way to work, I often encounter people who... well, greet me to work. I don't know them, but I find simple "good mornings" really pleasant because somehow, it makes me look forward to a really good morning and a good day (kahit na minsan eh mukhang manyakis yung nagsasabi nun). Some of the usual greetings I get are: "Hi Miss," "Hello," "Good Morning," and "Gandang Umaga." But today.... I got a really really weird greeting. Near Shangri-La mall, this guy greeted me with a "Hi Miss Brainy."

Oh--kay.

That got me thinking. Do I really look like a geek? I know I am, but I never thought I really looked like one. Or maybe my head is too big (the head people, not the cheeks). Or maybe I knew him when I was in Grade School and his impression of me back then was that of a brainy student and that I forgot about him. Or perhaps I had a brainy look on my face this morning. Well, whatever. Salamat na lang for the greeting hehehe.

Just recently, Anna Mae posted some High School pics in her Multiply site and it was just so nostalgic. It's fun remembering the things we did back then, and how happy we were with the small things that came our way. We studied hard, but we also knew when to play. Some people called us geeks and nerds, and most of the time, we thought of ourselves as one. But that didn't stop us from having a normal high school life like most people did.

Here's a picture from Anna Mae's site: All girls of 2-Sampaguita/3-Beryllium/4-Tau (Batch 99):

I hate this pic. I really, really, really, really look like an idiot (with bangs and that stupid grin) =))

As in OMG. Pagkatapos ng masalimuot na pagpupuntirya sa SONA ni Gloria, eto naman ang pinagkaguluhan ko ngayong araw na to.

OMG talaga. Weakness ko pa naman yan! Lapuk!!

Note: Ang ibig sabihin po ng OMG eh Oh My Golay! (Bawal blasphemy)

Sabi ni GMA sa kanyang SONA:

As your president, I will let no one -- and no one's political plans -- get in the way of the wellbeing of our people. I will let no one hinder our people's progress and prosperity. I will let no one threaten our nation's survival. This... Is.... My... Commitment.

Oh--kay... Wala ako ma-say. Kaka-basa ko lang ng draft SONA speech nya and I can't help but get the feeling na binu-bullshit lang ako. Apathetic citizen ako ng Pinas pero updated naman ako sa mga nangyayari. At nadi-disappoint ako kasi the person with the power to build or break the nation is the same person who spoonfeeds you with rainbows and butterflies when reality tells you you're in deep shit. Ano yun, paasa? Pagsisinungaling? Or ginagawa nya lang talaga tayong tanga?

Sabi nya may massive rice production daw tayo, and that since 2001, rice production is 2x bigger than population growth... Pero bakit ganun, naubusan pa rin tayo ng bigas?

Sabi nya andami daw na-gain natin dahil sa "effort" nila to fight corruption, which includes allocating Php 3 Billion++ for gathering and filing of hard evidence against corrupt officials... Di ba inamin nya na dati na cheater sya sa elections? Hehe, nasa pwesto pa rin sya. Wala lang.

Hay. Andami pa nyang "stuff" na sinabi. Ayoko lang isa-isahin baka ma-depress ako lalo. Pero in fairness, nagpasalamat sya sa TAXPAYERS. Welcome rin, madam presidente.

At dun sa commitment statement mo, ewan ko lang. Di na nga ako makapaniwala sa mga kwento at numero mo, maniniwala pa kaya ako sa commitment churvaness mo? Haynako!

When I was in college, I remember spending 2 weeks playing Final Fantasy 8. And I just couldn't get enough, so I played the game again for a few more weeks just because I wanted to complete all the side quests. The main reason why I played this game was simple: Squall Leonheart.

I was madly obsessed with the character -- the fake hair, the sharp pointy nose, the obvious computer-generated perfect face, and the horrible outfit. After seeing the Final Fantasy 8 poster while strolling along the computer shops in Shangri-La Mall EDSA (back then it was on the 6th floor), there was this divine arrow that hit my naive heart, ultimately making me fall head over heels in love with Mr. Leonheart.

I would stare at his picture in my monitor for hours just so I could memorize all the lines of his face. I would dream that I was in Rinoa's place so that I could be in his arms. I often listened to the game's theme song (Eyes On Me -- a very good song, I would say) and get teary-eyed because I oh-so-wish that I could touch his hand or stroke his hair. I even made my yahoo account as a tribute to him (iskwall). I was mad. And of course, my so-called love was unrequited. I was crazy about someone who doesn't even exist in real life. I knew it was impossible to find him, so I just hoped so badly that I'd meet someone exactly like him.

It was a crazy obsession. (And now that I think about it, it's creepy o_O)

Fortunately, after only a few months, game giants have followed Square Enix's footsteps by developing games with ultra-hunk characters. The births of Onimusha, Dante, Tidus and other really good-looking game characters have diverted my attention. The F4 also played a major role. And of course, how could I forget the guy who made college life so much brighter, and yet much more painful because I know that he is THE perfect guy, but he can never be mine.

Why the hell did I fall for the wrong guys??? Shet ang pathetic ko pala nung college hahaha!

(Na-LSS ko kasi yung Eyes on Me kaninang umaga, so I thought about writing this... only to find out how geeky I was >_<)